I’m suspicious of someone. What should I do?

If you’re suspicious of someone, you need to test your suspicions

Feeling something isn’t quite ‘right’ but you can’t figure it out? Know something’s wrong but you need some evidence? When strange and unexpected things happen, you are suspicious of someone and the explanations aren’t believable, then ONRECORD will help you get to the truth.

Common causes of mistrust

  • Parents who suspect their adult daughter is being abused by her partner but she denies it.
  • A friend insists that you’re memory is faulty and that your recollection of events is wrong but you don’t think that’s right. Your friend’s account is at odds with yours and makes you look bad and the friend look good. You think it might be gaslighting. 
  • Your children tell your ex they want nothing to do with you but when they’ve been with you they are happy and enjoy their times with you. 
  • Someone has power of attorney over a vulnerable relative or friend but money or objects are ‘going missing’ from their home and the person concerned either won’t speak to you or doesn’t have a good explanation.
  • A child’s behaviour has changed in a worrying way and you can’t understand why.
  • Someone who is close to you has a serious problem but they don’t want to say what it is and are behaving strangely.
  • Your partner is behaving in an odd and suspicious way and you think they might be cheating.
  • A business partner or employee is living in circumstances beyond their means.  They seem to have much more money than you would expect and it’s not clear where the money is coming from.
  • You believe you’re being lied to. 

How can you test your suspicions if you’re suspicious of  someone?

Keep records and use ONRECORD (learn more about using ONRECORD to gather evidence here). 

By keeping records of every example of your suspicions you’ll see over time if you can prove either that you are right or maybe it becomes clear that there isn’t a problem after all. If it turns out that your suspicions are right your records will prove crucial to get things sorted out.

If someone is lying to you, keep a record of what they tell you and when. When you learn something that contradicts what you have been told, keep a record of that too. Using ONRECORD you can backdate entries and upload any supporting evidence such as photos, videos, voice recordings or documents.  All this will be stored together in chronological order and located for place. You can review your records, look for any patterns, compare the information with other things you know and piece together what’s actually going on.

In a domestic abuse situation, other family members or friends may all contribute to making records. If you help the victim to acknowledge what is happening, and they decide to do something about it, your records will be useful to a support worker or the police. If something really bad happens it may be that your records help the police with a prosecution.

When you build a picture over time and when you add supporting evidence such as documents, photographs, screenshots, video or audio recordings and records of inconsistent comments or events, you can finally get people to take you seriously and act on your concerns. Your records might show you were wrong or it may be that your records just help you decide what to do. Either way they will help you to sort things out in your head, give you peace of mind or provide the means to do what’s right for you.

To help you know how to go about making good records, read these examples

For more reasons why you should gather your own evidence, listen to this interview with an ex Scotland Yard detectiveNathan Taylor, is a former member of the Counter Terrorism Command.  He explains how to deal with the police, how to best present your problem to get them to investigate, what you can do to make the police take your case seriously and what are the best ways of getting their help. 

Finally, here is a useful blog about the benefits of keeping records to gather your evidence.

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