Many victims ask “How can I prove domestic abuse?” because getting good, credible evidence of abuse is very hard to do. Very often domestic abuse only happens in private without witnesses so that it becomes one person’s word against the other’s. This is often made worse by the psychological effects of domestic abuse which undermine the victim’s confidence so that they are easily made to look confused or stupid by the perpetrator. It can be very hard for a court to see through this deception, especially if the abuser is well presented and articulate, making the abuse very hard to prove.
How to prove domestic abuse when there is no physical injury?
Of course, sometimes physical abuse leaves injuries which can be used as evidence, making it easier to get an injunction but often the victim is too afraid to report the incident. They feel so defeated that they don’t think it will be any use or, if the injuries are seen by someone, too fearful to give a truthful account of how they happened.
More often, though, abuse does not involve severe injury but is a combination of threats, insults, isolation from supporting family and friends. Physical assault can take the form of pushing, shoving and poking so that there are no marks to show. The end result of this kind of relentless pattern of behavior can be just as abusive as major acts of violence but much harder to detect and prove.
7 Common reasons why victims don’t report domestic abuse
The key to proving domestic abuse is to gather evidence on every occasion, however minor, so as to build up the picture of the pattern of behavior. But there are several reasons why this can be difficult to do. The most important reason for abuse not to be stopped is that it is not reported or the victim does not ask for help because:
- The victim has been convinced by the perpetrator that it is all their fault and therefore it is not abuse;
- The victim is ashamed and doesn’t want other people to know what is happening:
- The victim does not think they will be believed;
- The victim is too afraid to report what is happening for fear of retribution by the perpetrator;
- The victim is too controlled by the perpetrator to have the freedom to go anywhere to report what is happening;
- The victim cannot use their mobile phone to keep a record because the perpetrator has their login credentials and checks what they have on their phone;
- The victim believes threats made by the perpetrator that reporting the abuse will lead to harmful consequences such as removal of their children to social care.
Agencies, friends or families hoping to help a victim of domestic abuse must take account of these possible blocks to the victim seeking or taking advantage of help. It is well known to be extremely difficult to deal with the reluctance of victims to ask for help or act on advice.
Here’s how one victim was helped to prove domestic abuse
Here’s an example of how a victim of domestic abuse, who was finally able to admit the abuse, was helped:
Initial resistance and fear
The woman was being physically and emotionally abused by her boyfriend, especially when he was under the influence of alcohol. When he was drunk she was afraid that he would seriously injure or even kill her. She was too fearful of him to go to the police but fortunately the boyfriend allowed her to speak to her mother so her mother was aware of what was happening. Her mother persuaded her to start to keep a record of all the incidents that occurred and opened an account for her with ONRECORD. Her mother paid the subscription so that the boyfriend was not aware that she was using the app and making records of his abuse.
Deleting the app between record keeping to stay safe
She used the ONRECORD mobile app to keep a record of each incident, however small. She wrote down exactly what he said to her, verbatim, recorded every restriction he imposed, every physical assault and the impact each of these had on her. Because she was afraid of him and to keep herself safe, in between each record she deleted the app from her phone so that her boyfriend did not discover it. She then downloaded it again after each incident in order to login, make and upload a new record.
She used her phone in her pocket to upload audio recordings of his angry outbursts and threats (it would have been too dangerous for her to try to video him). She uploaded photos of any bruising or other injuries. She made a note of any medical consultations, whom she saw and what was said.
Linking the evidence to her mother, a counsellor and the police
For support, she linked her ONRECORD account to her mother, using the ‘Friends and Family’ connection. This enabled her mother to see every record she uploaded and to send confidential messages to her. She could convert her mother’s messages into records to supplement the description of her abuse.
Her mother contacted a domestic abuse charity and she was able to link her account to her counsellor as a Professional. This gave the counsellor real time access to her records too so that she could keep track of events without having to have a face to face appointment. The counsellor could also send advice using the confidential messaging facility. The counsellor’s messages were confidential and only seen by her mother if she chose to share them.
Eventually she was persuaded to talk to the police and she then linked her account to the police officer who was handling her case. This gave the police officer access to her records as well and he, too, could send confidential messages to her when necessary. The accumulated evidence, shown in ONRECORD’s chronology and timeline, not only persuaded the police that they could make a successful prosecution of the boyfriend but also made it clear to her that she was in a situation that she must leave and not return to.
ONRECORD empowers victims to prove domestic abuse
ONRECORD is a secure and confidential app which, by making it easy to make records, empowers victims of abuse to gather and share evidence of abuse so that eventually a case can be made which will allow prosecution of the perpetrator and protection of the victim.