Join us to learn more about the family court and its treatment of victims and perpetrators of abuse, coercive control, parental alienation and false allegations. Subscribe to our podcast channel and get reminders to know when we next publish.
Posts by George Hibbert
Parents who are in conflict with their exes over the arrangements for their children often find that they have been drawn into a repeated pattern of damaging emotional reactions and behaviour. Their ex is able to manipulate them, deliberately provoking them and knowing what will cause a reaction. To prevent this you must distance yourself from the adult but not from the child. Distancing yourself means having no conversation and no meetings. If that is impossible without help here is an adapted version of the 12 steps which could be a guide to achieving the necessary balance
You should be able to prove that the alienating parent is trying to provoke you. And you may also be able to show a pattern of unnecessary or deliberate disruption to a child’s arrangements. The key is to never allow yourself to be provoked and keeping a detailed record of how the alienating parent communicates, verbally and non-verbally, by quoting exactly what was said and describing exactly what was done.
The best advice for men and women is not to ignore a midlife crisis but to take responsibility for the shared situation. Remember divorce is a major and traumatic event with long term costs and consequences and will certainly affect your living arrangements, your children’s arrangements, your income and expenditure and the emotional wellbeing of everyone affected in a bad way.
You may be worried that contact with your child is going to be limited. It’s a very common problem for fathers in particular, and it’s specially worrying if you already have limited contact after the breakup, as a result of leaving home, trying to find somewhere acceptable to live and having to make do with whatever awkward arrangement can be made. Many fathers understandably assume that the court will automatically side with the mother and not respect the needs of children to have good, strong and stable relationships with their fathers.